Reid and the Teddy Bear
by slep
Summary: Reid finds something that rips open wounds long buried. Can his team help him come to terms with his past.
1. Chapter 1

The team was working in the bull pen when JJ summoned them to the round table room. Three women murdered in Tillon, California within two months: a fourth woman was missing. The women had all been found curled up in the fetal position with a teddy bear in their arms. When Reid saw the bodies on the screen he visibly paled and looked away quickly. The team was worried this was a sign to them that Reid was getting worse: for the past two weeks Reid had withdrawn and moody; Morgan and Garcia chalked it up to a girl, while Hotch and Rossi thought something was going on with his mother, JJ waited for him to speak and made no speculation. On the plane Reid barely spoke and seemed unhappy about going. He barely glanced at the crime scene photos and refused to engage in a discussion about the toys. Hotch drew him aside after the debriefing

"Spencer I know you've withdrawn for the past couple of weeks, what's going on?" Hotch asked

"I'm fine, it's been a hard couple of weeks. " Reid said

"Okay, I won't push. Just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk or need help." Hotch said

"I know thanks." Reid said standing and going to a different seat.

When they landed Reid went to the police station with JJ and started work on the geographical profile. Reid worked hard on the case and barely spoke. When Morgan brought the bears up for the families to look over and see if they personally belonged to the women Reid hurriedly left the room. After they finished work Reid declined to join the others for dinner.

"I'm tired; I'm just going to go walk back to the hotel." Reid said and left

The team was surprised the town was small, but it would still take Reid at least forty minutes to walk to the hotel. The next day everyone was gathered in the lobby waiting for Reid

"Morgan he's ten minutes late. Can you see what's keeping him?" Hotch said

Morgan nodded and moved to the elevators when Reid came down. His clothes were slightly askew and he looked like he was half asleep.

"Spence what's wrong?" JJ asked

"Nothing just stayed up a bit too late last night." Reid said

"Kid something is going on, talk to us let us help." Morgan said

"Drop it please. I'm sorry I was late it won't happen again." Reid said

The team sighed but did drop it. The fourth woman's body had been discovered Lilly Smith by the banks of the river. Reid and Morgan went over to the dump site Reid glanced at the victim's body then hurried away. The banks around the river were thick with brush and trees making it easy to dump a body without being seen. Reid stared at the water for a long time while Morgan walked around. After ten minutes he came back to Reid

"Got anything kid?" Morgan asked

Reid jumped "No, sorry." He said then turned away and started heading back to the road.

Morgan sighed and rubbed the crown of his head and followed. As they driving back into town Morgan stopped at a gas station/small grocery store. Reid went inside to get coffee and go to the bathroom. When Reid came back outside he looked like he was about to collapse. He dragged his feet and kept his eyes fixed on the ground. Morgan got out of the car and hurried over; Reid ignored him and climbed into the SUV. Morgan got back into the car but didn't start the engine

"Spencer what happened? Are you hurt?" Morgan demanded

Reid didn't speak, just signaled for Morgan to start driving.

Morgan gave an exasperated sigh "Spencer I am not going to start driving until you talk to me."

"I'm fine; we have a case to work on." His voice was shaky and weak

Morgan just stared at him trying to find the right words to get Reid to open up. Suddenly his phone rang it he answered it after two minutes he hung up

"That was Hotch he needs us back at the station."

Spencer nodded and they drove back to the station. When they got to the station, Reid put a green teddy bear with a blue heart on the table

"I found this at the gas station, it's the exact same type as the ones found at each crime scene." Reid said sounding normal but his shoulders were bowed and he kept his eyes on the floor.

"Good work, call Garcia and see if someone bought a large number in the past few months." Hotch said

"They wouldn't have too; I remember these kinds of displays when I was a teenager. They would often have the same kind of bears for months at a time." Reid said his voice hollow and laden with sadness

Reid then proceeded to ignore any questions and took a seat at the conference table. Garcia was going through any cameras that overlooked the roads that led to the river. Lily Smith had fought back against her attacker and had managed to bite her attacker. The team was able to complete the profile and release it to the police and JJ issued a statement to the press. Reid barely spoke a word after he showed them the teddy bear. Morgan confided in Hotch about Reid's behavior at the gas station but there was little either man could do. Reid was very private and wouldn't open up unless he wanted to. After work the agents again went to go out to dinner but Reid again declined. Everyone on the team was very concerned about Reid he was withdrawing from the team more and more and no one knew why.

"Kid you need to eat. Have you eaten anything all day?" Rossi asked

Reid shrugged and went to walk off when JJ gently grabbed his arm; Reid started and turned to her

"Spence I know we keep asking but we are all very concerned about you. You've been withdrawn for weeks now and ever since we started on this case you barely eat or speak."

Reid looked at her and then at the rest of the team and sighed "I'm just going through a bad time, just have patience, I'll be better soon." Reid said and hurried off down the street.

The agents went to dinner and discussed Reid but realized they had to trust that Reid would take care of himself. They finished eating and went back to the hotel. At eight pm the agents were called back to the station a fifth woman had been taken. The agents gathered in the lobby and waited for Reid after fifteen minutes they left figuring Reid was already there. They got their but there was no sign of Reid. Hotch tried calling Reid but he didn't answer. After the fifth try, he called Garcia and had her trace it. He was at a church Rossi went to get him. Rossi entered the church and found Reid in a middle pew looking down. As he got closer he saw it was a photograph

"Spencer what are you doing here?" Rossi asked

Reid jumped and slipped the picture into his breast pocket. He then turned to face Rossi his eyes were red and his face was full of hopeless anguish and grief

"Spencer what is it? What happened?" Rossi asked

Reid shook his head "I was just thinking of someone I lost a long time ago. What are you doing here?"

"A fifth woman was abducted; Hotch needs everyone at the police station."

Reid nodded, stood and put his bag over his shoulder. He gripped the back of the pew tight as he left. They drove to the station in silence: when they got there Hotch pulled him to the side

"Spencer I understand you're dealing with something but we are working a case I need to be able to reach you."

"I'm sorry I didn't hear my phone. I was, it's…..never mind. I'm sorry it won't happen again."

"Spencer if you need to take time off let me know, but if you're head isn't here I can't have you here."

"I can work the case, I'm here let's get to work." Reid said walking off

They worked on the case for four hours but didn't get any solid leads. At midnight since the kidnapper kept his victims for three days ; Hotch sent the team back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. The next day Reid was in the lobby before everyone else with huge cups of coffee. They each took one

"Spence did you get any sleep?" JJ asked taking in Reid's slightly greasy hair and the huge bags under his eyes

"I've been working the case; I think I know who the Unsub is. Garcia is checking him out now." Reid replied yawning

"You need to take care of yourself kid." Rossi said

"I'm fine, let's go." Reid said repeating his mantra of the past several days

The team went to the station, Reid's theory was mostly correct a man with a similar history and circumstances was the culprit. Reid and JJ stayed behind while the rest of the team went to arrest the Unsub. The team got their in time to save the woman and the Unsub was taken into custody. The agents stayed in town the rest of the day to wrap up loose ends and give Reid a chance to sleep. They left bright and early the next morning. On the plane Reid curled up in a seat and took out a book. An hour into the four hour flight Reid got up and went to the bathroom. Morgan saw a pink teddy bear with a purple heart on the seat where Reid had been sitting. He walked over and picked it up

"Hey Emily do you know why Reid has a teddy bear?"

"No, I don't. That's odd I never knew Reid had an interest in stuffed animals."

"Maybe it was a gift from Garcia?" JJ speculated

"A girl might have given it to him." Rossi suggested

Reid came out and went to his seat which was at the tail end of the plane. The others were near the head of the plane. He looked at the seat and the floor but couldn't see his bear

"Where is it? Where's my bear?" Reid asked

"Kid calm down it's just a teddy bear." Morgan said

"Give it back to me, please give it back to me." Reid pleaded

"Reid, it's a stuffed bear, what's the big deal." Morgan said desperate for answers

"Give it to me now. Please Derek give it back." Reid begged holding out his hand

"Derek give Spencer his bear now." Hotch ordered Morgan was too surprised at Reid's behavior to respond

Morgan handed it over and Reid stunned everyone by hugging it close. He then retreated to the sofa and curled up: the bear held tightly to his chest his face down. Morgan came over and sat down next to him

"I'm sorry kid, I shouldn't have taken you're bear. "

Reid nodded but didn't say anything

"Please tell me what's the significance of this bear." Morgan asked

"Spencer did you find the bear at the gas station?" Hotch asked gently when Reid didn't respond to Morgan's question

"Yes I bought it because it reminded me of Lilly, it was in the exact same display as I saw years ago in Los Vegas. I often walked with Lily to the grocery store; Every time we passed the display of bears she pointed to this one and smiled. She kept pointing and asking for it. I would tell her to wait and ask Santa. Eventually I got the money, but it was too late."

"What do you mean it was too late? " Morgan asked

 _"I went to the store to buy medicine; I had some money left over. I knew I should have saved it but Lily wanted that bear so much I bought it. I ran home I was late and Rose would be mad but I didn't care about that I was excited to see the look on Lily's face and to see her. I got home and my mom was at the door. She greeted me and was completely lucid, I knew something was wrong. She told me Lily and Rose were at the hospital. I dropped the bag on the floor; my mom hugged me then drove me to the hospital. I found Lily and Rose in a room lying on a bed. Rose was cradling Lily in her arms. I went over and handed Lily the bear she smiled at me and called me Papa Santa. I looked at her and then at Rose and I knew_ " Reid stopped and hugged the bear tighter he turned his face to the wall lost in memories and grief, Morgan put a hand on his arm and waited " _Lily died four hours after I gave her the bear. She hugged it the entire time; after she died she was clutching it so tightly no one could remove it. She was buried with it curled up in her arms._ " Reid put his head on his knees and started crying

His friends were heartbroken at his story, Morgan tried to hug Reid but his position made it impossible. He settled for a hand on Reid's arm and waited. After a few minutes Reid stopped he uncurled himself and leaned back against the wall. JJ came over with a glass of water and put a hand on his shoulder as he drank it. After he was done Morgan spoke the question everyone was asking

"Spencer who was Lily?"

"She was my daughter. She died ten years ago." Reid answered

 **A/N I tried writing a self contained emotionally driven story. Please give me feedback, tell me what you thought. All praise and criticism welcome.**

 **Post Script I wrote a chapter 2 which is a lot of backstory. Please feel free to treat this as a one shot.**


	2. Chapter 2

JJ gripped his shoulder tighter in sympathy and surprise, Morgan reeled back slightly, Rossi and Hotch looked at him in surprise and appraisal, while Emily looked on in sympathetic sadness. It was Hotch who spoke first

"Spencer there is no record of you having a child." He said gently but with authority

"No there wouldn't be. Rose was listed as the mother but I was never listed as the father." Reid said without resentment he knew Hotch was just trying to understand the situation

"Why not: if you loved her why not claim her?" Emily asked

Reid surprisingly laughed though with little mirth and much bitterness before answering "I'm surprised at your naivety Emily. Do you honestly think the state government would allow a fourteen year old living alone with a schizophrenic mother to raise an infant even if the child is their own daughter?"

The BAU agents looked at each other but didn't answer they all knew it was no. A few minutes passed to allow Reid to regain his composure, the others to come to terms with the revelation about their friend

"Spencer who was Lily's mother?" Rossi asked gently breaking the silence

"Rose Singer she was only two months older than me. " he answered taking another glass of water from JJ

"How did you two meet?" Morgan asked

Reid smiled slightly "I was in a casino playing an electronic poker game when a security guard came over to me. I said I was waiting for my mother but he didn't believe me and dragged me to the security office. Rose was there doing her homework, she was impressed I had been able to successfully scam a thousand dollars from the casino." He answered taking a drink

"Was she daughter of the head of security?" Morgan asked

"No, he was just babysitting her. Her father owned the casino and had asked him to look after her for a few hours."

"So you two became friends were you also romantically involved?" Morgan said teasingly

"No, no we were way too young for that. We did however end up sneaking into a party at the Mirage Casino and after some drinks and a few drugs…" Reid said

"After one time she became pregnant and you two decided to keep the baby. How did how did her father take the news?" Emily asked

Reid didn't answer he just gripped the glass in his hand tighter and tighter as memories flooded back suddenly the glass shattered and broke drenching the floor and Reid's hand with water and glass. Reid jumped and looked around for the cause of the sound completely unaware of the broken glass. JJ hurried into the galley for the first aid kit, while Emily joined her and grabbed paper towels,

"Kid, Spencer are you okay?" Morgan asked taking his injured hand

"Yes, I'm fine what broke?" he said puzzled

"You shattered a glass remember?"

"I did? It was that bastard I hate thinking about him." Reid said as JJ came over and started bandaging his hand

"Yeah kid we got that. Are you feeling alright now?" Morgan said as JJ finished bandaging his hand and Emily and Rossi finished cleaning up the floor

Reid stood and didn't answer; he moved to walk away when he glanced back at Morgan. He grabbed the teddy bear and walked into the bathroom. Morgan sighed rubbed his head, he then stood and sat down across from Hotch

"That's some story Reid told us. How much of much of it is true do you think?" Morgan asked Hotch

"You doubt him, why would you think he's lying?" JJ demanded

"The story is improbable: a child Hotch didn't even know about, getting a girl pregnant at thirteen, losing the child at seventeen, a casino owner so angered by his teenage daughter's illegitimate child he throws her out on the streets. Come on you guys believe him?" Rossi said chiming in

"His grief and his anger where very real, I'm going to call Garcia and have her look into Rose and Lily Singer and the Mirage casino." Hotch said

Reid stormed past him grabbed his messenger bag and drew out a faded photo album. He thrust it at Morgan, picked up the book he had left on the seat and resumed his seat on the couch. After Reid was settled Morgan opened the photo album. On the first insert was a folded up birth certificate for Lily Singer born thirteen years ago to a Rose Singer. The next item was a picture of a beautiful teenage girl her hair in a long heavy braid sitting in a twin size bed propped up with pillows an infant a few hours old wrapped up in a towel in her arms. The next picture was of Reid sitting on a couch with Rose holding the baby now a few days old on his lap. The third picture was of Diana Reid holding Lily on the same couch now a couple of weeks old. There were a few more pictures showing Rose with either her parents or grandmother. An interesting picture was when Lily was six months old she was wearing a very nice pink gown with bows, Spencer was holding her wearing a grey suit while Rose was standing next to them her hair in a plaited bun wearing a sedate knee length elbow length blue dress an engagement ring on her hand.

"Guys look at this." Morgan said passing around the photo album

"They were engaged?" Emily said upon seeing the picture

"It appears so." Rossi said looking at the picture

"No we weren't, it was a desperate attempt to get Henry Singer to forgive Rose and be a part of her and Lily's lives. I would find Rose crying the bathroom or in the nursery she tried to hide it but I caught her enough times that she eventually told me that she missed her parents and her old life. After Lily was born she knew she could never go back to being a fun loving thoughtless teenager again but she missed her parents so much. I thought if I agreed to marry her a shotgun wedding so to speak Henry and Lila would forgive her." Reid said putting aside his book

"Did it work?" JJ asked

"No that bastard said I was diseased that he had brought illness and shame on his family line. He called my daughter a beautiful sunny intelligent girl a diseased bastard and that Rose should have drowned her at birth before Lily disgraced the entire family." Reid said angrily

Everyone was horrified but not surprised there was a lot of hostility and misconceptions about mental illness especially hereditary ones.

 **A/N A bit of back-story if anyone was interested. I'll write more if people are interested. If you liked please Review I would love to know peoples thoughts, or favorite, subscribe this was an experiment and I could really use the feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Did he try anything?" JJ asked her hand on her heart.

"No, I didn't give him a chance. Lily had been fussing so Rose picked her and was trying to quiet her; Singer and I were facing away from them near the center of the living room. At the end of singer's _speech_ Rose gasped and said Dad in a tone so full of heartbreak and disbelief…." Reid trailed off for a second "Singer whirled around to face her and I jumped on his back and ordered Rose to run. She looked at me for a brief second, then hugging Lily to her breast ran out the door. Singer threw me to the ground and as I lay there breathless he raised his foot. Whether he meant to kick me or step over me I don't know, because at that moment Ivy Rose's mother came into the room from a side door. With Singer distracted I got to feet, grabbed the carrier and ran out of the room."

Everyone looked at him then Morgan spoke in a tone full of skepticism and admiration "You jumped on his back?"

"Yes, my feet around his chest and my arms around his neck. I didn't even think I just knew I had to protect my family." Reid said with a faint smile.

"Even at fourteen you were a force to be reckoned with." Rossi said

"I was fifteen." Reid corrected automatically

"Did Singer or Ivy come to the funeral?" Hotch asked.

"I don't know." Reid sighed heavily "I was so drained I couldn't even carry Lily's chest."

"Lily's chest? Don't you mean her coffin?" Emily asked gently.

"No, we were too poor to afford a coffin. Rose and I went to a lot of garage sales for well pretty much anything we needed. At this old Victorian looking house we found an old chest. Rose over my objections bought it for fifteen dollars and brought it home, I sanded it down and lined it with a few old blankets. We used it to store Lily's toys, and other things. As soon as Lily could crawl she was going all over the house, as soon as she learned to walk she was getting into everything she could reach." Reid's voice was such a fatherly mix of pride and exasperation that everyone smiled. "Lily soon figured out where Rose and Diana put her toys in and the lid was very light. Lily was soon trying to open the chest and get her toys out, Lily would raise the lid slightly and it could crash down sometimes hitting her fingers. My friend Jones had an uncle who installed hinges which prevent the lid from closing without a hand shutting closing it. Soon Lily was in and out all the time it was her favorite hiding spot. And of course being my daughter figured out how to close it while inside."

"Your daughter" Rossi interjected

"Rose is smart, but no genius, I loved her, I still do, but Lily had my intelligence." Reid paused "She was always Papa's girl." Reid said with great tenderness and sadness.

"I don't think Rose was happy about Lily hiding in the chest." JJ said thinking about Henry.

"No, she wasn't. I came home from work and found that she had drilled eight holes in the chest lid with a drill. Rose told me that she had actually tried to throw the chest out but Lily had started screaming, then when that failed switched to crying. At Christmas Diana and Rose painted the sides and lid of the chest with trees and fairies and I got colored paper that let air and light through. We fixed up the chest put in a pink blanket and pillow and gave it back to her for her second Christmas. She got in at once and didn't come out until dinner time." Reid sighed and got to his feet.

He walked over to the photo album and turned to a page near the back; a picture of Diana, Rose, Lily and himself in front of a Christmas tree. "There's a picture of Lily in her fairy kingdom, I can't bear to look at it." Reid said and walked to the galley.

As soon as Reid was far enough away, JJ pulled out the picture. It showed a smiling, proud toddler standing on a pink blanket inside a chest. There was dark pink pillow next to her, Lily was dressed in a princess dress that matched the pillow, her blonde hair was pulled back with a band of fake flowers. The chest itself was painted as Reid said with colorful but realistic looking trees, with fairies scattered throughout. The lid reflected a rainbow of purple, pink, blue, and green light. JJ passed the picture around then put it back.

Hotch after the picture was put away walked over to Reid who was making himself a cup of coffee.

"The chest was beautiful, I'm sure Lily would have preferred being buried in it, then a plain coffin." Hotch said putting a hand on Reid's shoulder.

Reid nodded but sighed "I failed her so often, we were always short of money and even food was sometimes in short supply. I tried so hard but."

"Spencer you were a teenager, not even eighteen. I know you did the best that you could and I'm sure Rose knew it and Lily never doubted you were the best dad in the world." Hotch said keeping his hand on Reid's shoulder.

Reid looked at him and gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. Hotch removed his hand and seemed about to say more when his phone rang. He walked to the far end of the plane near the cockpit before answering. Reid drank his coffee and then walked back into the cabin. Morgan came over and they sat down on the sofa. JJ and Emily continued to look over the photo album, while Rossi seemed lost in his own memories. After a few brief minutes Hotch put the phone down.

"I'm sorry but we have a case, the Widow Maker is back." Hotch said regretfully.

A laugh was heard mournful, haunting, yet amused it was Reid laughing. After a minute he stood and gently but firmly pulled the photo album out of JJ's hands and shut it. He put a hand on the cover and bowed his head weariness and pain present in every line. Reid then walked over to his messenger bag and put the album away.

"Spencer, you don't have to come with us, you can go to Los Vegas or back to Washington DC if you wish." Rossi said

Everyone else nodded clearly unnerved by Reid's laugh.

"No, I can't." Reid said firmly "I was a fool to bring Lily up to talk about her."

"Why?" Morgan asked

"Because when I think about everything I feel in regards to Lily, even how I feel just thinking about her briefly, it's only a small fraction of what I truly feel. I never truly mourned her or dealt with any emotions regarding her." Reid shook his head "It's hard to explain but I'll try. When I think about my emotions all my grief, pain, guilt, everything I feel, it's like I'm standing on the shores of a beach, my emotions like waves lapping around my ankles. Sometimes like during this case the waves are up to knees pulling me forwards, threatening to drag me under. I don't know if I have the strength to drag myself back to shore if I allow myself to be dragged out to sea and finally let myself sink under the sea and after ten years I'm too scared to even contemplate trying." Reid looked around the cabin at his adopted family "Though for a few shining moments I could see figures on the shore, and I thought if I chose to drown, to finally grieve there would hands that would reach out and bring me back." Reid looked directly into Morgan's eyes "No, Derek without someone there to pull me back I don't dare allow myself to grieve."

 **A/N Another chapter, please let me know your thoughts. Your interest inspirers me to keep writing so please leave a review or just Follow/Favorite.**


	4. Chapter 4

No one knew what to say to that so the cabin lapsed in silence. JJ went to talk to the pilot, and Hotch called Garcia. Before he called though Hotch walked over to the couch.

"Spencer do you want to tell Garcia about Lily? Would you like one of us to?" Hotch asked gently

"No, no, I don't want her to know until after this case." Reid burst out hotly rising to his feet.

"Spence?" JJ asked confused

"You know how Penelope is, I wish I hadn't told you guys, but Penelope will just make things worse." Reid said walking to the bathroom with his bear.

The team looked at each other but they all nodded in understanding. Hotch called Garcia and informed her of the change of plans. When she pressed him about Reid, Hotch told her he would explain after the case. Half an hour before they landed in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Hotch called the team together. They went over what little information they had; men were being killed shortly after they were married and their hearts and wedding rings were sent to their widows the bodies were never found. Six men died then the killings stopped. Three years after the trail went cold Jane Elton received her husband's heart and ring in a box, and then Anne Harris five days later received her husband's heart, a ring, and a finger bone from the sixth victim. Hotch laid out the assignments for when they landed and everyone got ready to go.

"Hotch could you wait a minute." Reid asked lightly grabbing Hotch's arm as he was about to walk off the plane.

Hotch nodded and stepped out of the aisle. Reid waited for everyone to leave before speaking.

"Hotch, Aaron, I know it's, it's silly but could you keep this safe for me until after the case?" Reid asked holding out the pink and purple teddy bear.

"Of course." Hotch said taking the bear. "Do you want me to take the photo album too?"

"No, no, I couldn't part with it, it's one of the few things I have of Lily's." Reid pushed on mistaking Hotch's patience for a question "Rose left a few days after the funeral and took a lot of Lily's stuff with her, then my mom.." Reid trailed off and hastily wiped his eyes "My mom had an episode and ransacked Lily's room trying to find clues as to where the government had taken her granddaughter. It wasn't until I was selling the house that I could bear to step foot in Lily's room and clean up the mess my mom had made."

Reid's shoulder's started shaking and Hotch put hand on his arm. Reid shook himself free and straightened up to his full height.

"I'm sorry Hotch, I don't know why I keep talking about her, why I keep breaking down. I know we have a case, I will do everything I can to not let you or the team down."

"Spencer its fine, we all understand, I just ask that you talk to us and that you take care of yourself."

"I will, I promise, for the next few days I will focus entirely on the case and on catching the Widow maker." Reid said sling his messenger bag over his shoulder.

Hotch nodded but didn't move "Spencer I would like your gun and I want to know if you would be willing to share a room with someone."

"I'm not suicidal." Reid said angrily

"I'm not saying you are but you have a lot of unresolved grief and guilt and it would be so easy to just end all of that pain with a single shot." Hotch said putting the bear down on a seat and held his hands out.

Spencer looked at him then slowly took off his gun and holster and handed them over. Hotch put the gun in his bag as Reid pushed past him and left the plane. Hotch followed carrying the bear in his hand. No one commented or even raised an eyebrow at Hotch carrying Reid's bear or at Reid's lack of a gun. Reid got to an SUV with Morgan and Emily and they went to the morgue and the crime lab, while JJ, Rossi, and Hotch went to the police station.

"Agents I would say I'm happy to see you but while I appreciate the help I wish you didn't have to be here." Chief Welton said

"We understand, are Jane Elton and Anne Harris here yet?" Rossi asked

"Yes, both women are in my office, their husbands served in the same unit." Welton said

"Agent Jareau and I will talk to them." Hotch said

Chief Welton led them to his office while Rossi went to the conference room. An hour later the entire team was gathered together going over the scant evidence. Reid despite his promise to Hotch didn't speak a word and hunched over a pad of paper and evidence files.

"It's been a long day, let's call it a night and look things over tomorrow with fresh eyes." Hotch said after two hours.

Everyone prepared to leave except Reid who was writing on the note pad.

"Spence we're going to get food and then go to the hotel." JJ said

Reid jumped "You guys go; I'm going to keep working."

"No you're not." Morgan said picking up Reid's bag.

Reid looked around the room and saw everyone staring at him expectantly. He sighed and grabbing his messenger bag from Morgan left the room. The team went to an Indian restaurant but Reid picked at his food.

"Spencer you need to eat." Emily prompted

Reid ate half his plate before pushing it away. When they got outside Reid turned to Hotch

"I need to take a walk, if Rossi wants to come that's fine." Reid said knowing his family would be reluctant to leave him alone.

"That's fine kid, it's a nice night." Rossi said

Reid groaned clearly hoping Rossi would refuse. It was only a twenty minute walk to the hotel but Reid walked past the hotel and walked for an hour before Rossi put his foot down and insisted they go back. At the hotel Hotch was sitting in a chair in the lobby waiting for them.

"Spencer I got a room for you with two beds, I was thinking you could share with Rossi or myself." Hotch said walking over to them.

Reid glared at him but then softened his expression and shook his head. He started to walk over to the desk but Hotch gently took his hand and put a key in it. Reid gave a slight smile and picking up his bag went to the elevators.

"So you don't mind sharing a room with me?" Rossi said

"No, and Reid might end up sharing a room anyway." Hotch said

"He's tough I can't imagine dealing with the pain he has and still working."

"Spencer has spent most of his life dealing with loss and hardship, going forward is the only way he knows how to live."

"But it's catching up with him."

Hotch didn't reply he simply picked up his bags and followed Reid to the elevators.

The next morning at eight the team was once again gathered in the hotel lobby waiting for Reid. However they only waited two minutes before the receptionist called Hotch over and handed him a piece of paper.

"What is it?" Morgan asked as Hotch walked back over to them.

"It's a message from Reid, he says he we woke up early and went to the station to work."

"What time was that?" Rossi asked

"Four in the morning." Hotch said

"Let's go." Hotch said before anyone else could speak.

They got to the station and found Reid asleep on top of a pile of folders a half empty coffee cup in front of him.

"Spence." JJ said softly shaking his shoulder.

Reid shot up in his chair and looked around sleepily "JJ? What time is it?" he asked.

"It's eight thirty in the morning; we've got coffee and bagels." Emily said handing Reid a cup of coffee.

"Oh, I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd work on the case I must have fallen asleep." Reid said sheepishly

"We can tell that by the drool marks." Morgan teased as he moved the folders.

"Derek!" Emily said putting a hand on Reid's shoulder.

 **A/N Please Review I love all review and it has greatly helped my writing, or just let me know you're interested by Following/Favorting.**


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